Shot opens in a teenage boy's room. Typical suburban middle class upstairs bedroom like you'd see in any sitcom. The kid is sitting in there ostensibly reading homework on the bed but actually texting on his phone.

Suddenly, his stuck-up, naggy sounding soccer mom pounds on the door in a huff, calling the kid's name.


Mom: "Billy! Billy you open this door THIS INSTANT!"

Kid: "Oh shit..."


The kid answers the door and the mom comes storming in.


Mom:  "Mister, YOU have got some exPLAINing to do!"


The mom begins looking under and behind things on various surfaces in the kid's room.


Mom:  "I was just talking to Jimmy's mom right now, and she tells me that YOU TWO have been smoking MARIJUANA at their house!"

Kid:  "Whoa, mom..."

Mom:  "Now, SHE's already talked to Jimmy about it, and JIMMY said that he gave YOU some for your own use, over here! In MY house!"


The mom starts rifling through drawers and such, and finds a bag of marijuana. She holds it up in front of the kid's face, with a stern "you are so dead mister" look in her eye. The kid looks terrified and apologetic.


Kid:  "Mom, I can explain..."

Mom:  "I can't believe you would hide something like this from me, right here, in the house that I raised you in! Didn't I ever teach you anything!?"

Kid: "But mom..."

Mom:  "How can you keep all this pot in here and never share any with your family?"


Beat. Kid appears to be trying to spit out an explanation.


Mom:  "Do you know how long it's been since I've been able to find some dank grass in this town?"

Kid:  "But mom, I was gonna share it, honest!"


The mom storms out of the room and downstairs:


Mom:  "Just wait until I tell your father about this..."


The kid calls down after her from outside his room:


Kid:  "Wait mom, no!" A brief look of helplessness. "...he'll smoke it all!"



Next scene: The living room. The mom, the kid, plus pop and sis are all lounging around on the couch, watching TV and smoking weed, laughing histerically at whatever's on TV. Bags of chips and sodas and beers lie all around.

The mom takes a drag, then says to her son, faux-sternly:


Mom:  "Well I hope you've learned your lesson, mister."


The whole family laughs histerically.


Transparent title card, centered:
    REMEMBER KIDS,
    DON'T BOGART THAT REEFER!
    PUFF, PUFF, PASS!

Fast Voiceover:  This message brought to you by the National Pro-Drug Council.